Being a mom is (different) hard

Awal penulisan 2022, lalu tulisan ini baru tayang 2 tahun kemudian!

Tidak pernah satu kali pun, saya berpikir bahwa menjadi ibu itu akan mudah. But, day by day I realized, being a mom is hard, different, and weirdly hard. Every child is unique, every child is different.

Mind you, I have a good support system for raising a child. Salute to every mom di luar sana who does everything by her own self!

A bit story about my 2 years little lady (sekarang almost 4). She is very active, a happy baby with lots of laughs! Bawel banget juga. But, now, when it comes to mealtime. Everything is blaahhh! The first month she is into solid food, everything (seems like) manageable. Sometimes eating all the food that I prep, and sometimes don't like the food. Everything is ok. Until when she was about 1,5 years, the game is changing. she refuse almost everything except breastmilk, and I realized her weight was not (my) as expected as it to be.

Why so sudden she is into GTM (Gerakan Tutup Mulut) alias gak mau makan aja gitu semua hal (almost).

Mulailah, pergi ke dokter sana-sini. Tes darah, urine, feces. You name it. Dan hasilnya, meskipun bikin mama sempet deg-degan. Alhamdulillah semua aman. Tidak anemia zat besi, ISK, or alergi.

But, the first professor gizi yang kita temuin ini. Sangat "ekstrim" (menurut kami ya) yang bikin kami jadi beralih ke dokter anak lainnya. Dokter kedua claim kalo sang anak coba diberhentikan dari turunan susu dan lainnya, serta diberi obat. One - two months, everything goes like magic, bb nya cepat sekali naik. Tapi masuk bulan ketiga, semua buyar kembali. Balik seperti kondisi awal. Hampir semua makanan dijawab dengan "no" atau "tidak" 🙂

Jujur, mama kesal, sedih dan stress. I remember when I was pregnant with her, I eat almost everything, tidak pilih-pilih makanan. Tapi kenapa anaknya sekarang begini?

Of course, I observe her and see that dia sering gagging. Berdasarkan ilmu kesotoyan dan google, mama (I) said, she is having a problem with gastroenterology. So, pergilah kita ke prof.gastro. Dicek dikasih obat, dan ga gitu ngaruh sama nafsu makan dia. B aja. Hahahaaa. Tetep aja she said no or tidak kalo makan.

Hufttt, it's so bikin deg-degan, dan panik. With all the fact that if baby doesn't get the right nutrition, her IQ will decrease by 10 points (or something) lupa. Ketar-Ketir ga tuuuhhh.

Mama never give up, saya terus searching dan cari tahu permasalahannya apa. Liat kondisi saat ini seperti apa, dan akhirnya mama pergi ke dokter tumbang (tumbuh kembang) anak, to see if my baby has an sensory processing difficulties? And, yes she is.

Huft.

Maafin mama, baru ngeh kalo kamu ga mau pegang sesuatu karena jijik, or feel uncomfortable termasuk makanan. Gak tau kenapa prosesnya berubah, atau mama yang kurang perhatian? Perasaan awal2 makan mie bisa, makan spaghetti mau, makan bubur ok. Hehe. Ternyata akak G sensory vestibular nya belom sempurna, yang membuat dia kadang takut naik perosotan atau ayunan. Obatnya cuma 1, yaitu stimulasi. Setelah stimulasi, kalo sekarang sih naik ayunan gaya tebalik juga jagooo. Cuma kalo naik perosotan kadang berani cuek, kadang takut. 

Selidik punya selidik, kalo emang bener nafsu/kebiasaan makan anak itu turunan ayah. Sudah jelas, sama persis. Bapak dan anak waktu kecil susahh makannya. Makannya kadang suka, kadang engga ya kaya kita aja manusia biasa. Kadang nafsu makan, kadang males makan 🙂

Sekarang ternyata anaknya bisa ngejar berat badannya, bisa dikunjungi di IG saya, dia "normal", ga gendut or montok, tapi keras.Tumbuh kembang lainnya alhamdulillah normal aja.

Semoga Gladys ku sayang sehat selalu. Amiin

Dear Me,

This year will be felt very upset, very stressful and very sad. But trust me, one day you will be stronger than you are before. If I may give you a suggestion, please spend more time with your family. Don’t ask! Just do it! You will never regret it.

I remember, this year you will also graduate from high school and continue your education path by taking university. Your campus will be very cool, very fun. You will find no (big) problem at your campus. You will meet new friends, new ambiance, and a lot of new things you can learn from this place. Your work will be much related with your major at campus 🙂 Please pay more attention to your lecture and do your paper with your heart hahahaha…. Don’t do too much shopping; don’t go to ITC Ambassador often ^.^. You will meet one “funny” guy in campus J but don’t take him too serious… haha… Or your heart will be broken! In 2006, you will have another achievement for your life. Yeeayyy… And oh, you will work as a part timer in one of coffee company.

You will marry with…………… (Someone you are dreaming of :p) Your prince charming! No, no, you don’t know him know! You never know him until you are 22 😀 Be patient, please!

Last but not the least your life would be ups and downs, colorful, very challenging, and sometimes stressful and make you cry. But, trust me; it will make you stronger than ever! Please always cheerful!

XoXo,

Siti Fauziah at 27 years old

Weekly Challenge from BEC, Write A Letter to The Younger You